Remember the iconic scene from the blockbuster movie “3 Idiots”, where Farhan (played by R. Madhavan), with tears in his eyes and a trembling voice, dares to say, “ Abba mai engineer nahi banunga…”(I won’t be an engineer…) . Many such children still wish to say the same things to their parents, but they are unable to gather that courage like Farhan, out of fear and undue pressure. It’s high time now to listen to their unheard voices, understand their feelings, and give them the confidence to choose the best career for themselves.
As parents, we naturally want our children to succeed, be confident, and lead fulfilling lives. In this VUCA world, however, “success” is no longer measured solely by grades, exam scores, or conventional achievements. The traditional parameter of academic performance is no longer the sole measure of a child’s potential.
The job market has evolved, and so has the way we think about talent, skills, and potential. At Swayamrise, we believe every child is a unique individual with their unique sparks waiting to be discovered and nourished. This blog is a resourceful guide for parents who want to raise not just successful students, but great human beings. Let’s deep dive into how you can become a supportive mentor, develop essential life skills, and unlock your child’s innate capabilities and strengths.
Nurturing child beyond grades: How to recognize their unique strengths.
How to be a supportive guide
Measuring life’s success by academic performance is a long-standing practice followed by every parent and has become a norm in society. Very often, parents try to equate academic performance with future success, sometimes unknowingly imposing the baggage of their own unfulfilled dreams onto their children. Instead of being a director of their success story, parents should become a co-traveler, asking, “Who is my child becoming?” rather than asking, “What do I want my child to become?” It invites compassion, empathy, and trust. At Swayamrise, we often encourage parents to practice active listening.
- Being nonjudgmental: Sometimes your child may sound unrealistic or impractical, but let them express their feelings and speak fearlessly about their dreams and goals. Instead of being biased about certain issues, try to understand the ideas behind their words.
- Practice active listening: Sometimes, all these children want is your undivided attention and willingness to understand their viewpoints. Simply listen to them, without interrupting or offering advice right away. Children feel seen when they know their thoughts are valued.
- Ask open-ended questions: practice asking open-ended questions to the children, which encourages their thought process, and reflect back to show your interest in the conversation. Questions like “What was the most exciting activity you did today? “, “What activities make you lose track of time?”, “What would you prefer to do if you were granted a wish to be whatever you want?” Such questions give them the freedom to fly in the sky of their dreams and aspirations.
- Avoid comparisons: Comparing your child’s performance with their siblings, cousins, or friends is the most disappointing aspect of negative parenting. Try to focus on what your child can do better and how to improve it. Figure out his inclination and interests and how those can add value to his future journey. Use phrases like:
- “I think you enjoy drawing. Would you like to have some training to explore it more?”
- Avoid imposing them with your unfulfilled dreams: It’s important to recognize whether your guidance is influenced by your own regrets. Maybe you wanted to be a singer, a scientist, or a doctor. Your child’s path may resonate with yours—or diverge completely. Both are okay. Children thrive when they feel seen for who they are, not who we wish them to be. At swayamrise, we advise parents to ask themselves: If I were not involved, what would my child choose? This encourages the space for their authentic growth.
- Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge efforts and improvements, and not just the outcomes. A child struggling in mathematics but putting in his efforts to understand the basic concepts should be praised for his persistence and hard work. Small contributions like helping a friend in studies, completing a project, volunteering for some cause, or coming up with creative solutions should be celebrated for their growth.
- Identifying unique strengths- Observing everyday activities of your children may help you identify their strengths. Noticing when your child is most engaged or excited could be a clue to their strengths. For example:
- Do they enjoy building things with blocks or coding apps?
- Do they like to lead or organize group activities?
- Do they prefer storytelling over solving puzzles?
- Create a checklist that includes traits or characteristics like:
- Creativity
- Leadership
- Empathy
- Communication
- Problem-solving
- Adaptability
- Ask your child to rate themselves, and then discuss where they feel challenged versus comfortable. These are not just personality traits-they’re career assets. In today’s job market, employers value emotional intelligence, creativity, and resilience as much as technical skills. Such activities reveal how your child feels and thinks. Such observations can be useful to identify the inclinations of the child.
Building valuable skills in your child:
Modern career landscapes value not only knowledge but also how one applies it. Skills like adaptability, problem-solving, and creativity are becoming an integral part of industries. Here’s how you can foster them.
- Creativity is not only related to drawing or music—it’s a way of innovative thinking, connecting ideas, and uniquely expressing oneself. Ways to nurture creativity-
- Encourage journaling, sketching, or story writing.
- Limit screen time and encourage spending time thinking and innovating.
- Introduce simple projects such as building something new from scrap or imagining an alternate ending to a story.
- Asking them what they learnt from stories they read or movies they have seen.
- Adaptability is the ability to adjust to new situations. Ways to encourage adaptability-
- Introduce small changes at home, like changing routines occasionally.
- Encourage trying new activities, foods, or environments, traveling to new places, and meeting new people without judgment.
- Share stories of challenges you’ve faced and how you dealt with them.
- Problem-Solving refers to developing analytical thinking skills. Dealing with problems creatively and persistently. Encourage problem-solving by:
- Allowing them to attempt solutions before intervening.
- Engaging in strategic games like puzzles, quizzes, and Sudoku, which encourages critical thinking.
- Ask situational questions: “What if we lost electricity for a day? How would we manage?
There are many such ways in which you can nurture other skills like empathy, leadership, teamwork, etc. Every child uniquely represents the blend of talents, interests, and aspirations. Academic performance is just one piece of the puzzle. Your child is not a project to be perfected. They are a person to be understood. Skills like adaptability, problem-solving, and creativity help them stand tall in life’s uncertainties and opportunities. Parents’ role is to guide, to listen, encourage, and provide the right environment where the child’s natural strengths can flourish. We should raise the generation that rises. So next time you look at a report card, ask yourself: What does this not tell me? And find the answer – in their laughter, their questions, and their dreams.